One of my readers took me to task a while back for using the phrase “two of my best friends are math teachers” in a column I wrote. She said, “You can’t have more than one ‘best friend’ because ‘best’ is an absolute term.” And maybe she’s right: “best” implies that something is better than everything else. So can there be more than one “best”?
I suppose that technically, grammatically, she’s right. Some words are absolute. Honesty is absolute, for example; you are either honest or you’re not. You can’t be very honest, or a little honest or more honest than someone else. You either are or you aren’t, right? There are no shades of honesty. It’s absolute.
Unique is absolute. Something can’t be “kind of unique” or “very unique”; it’s either unique (one of a kind) or it’s not. It’s absolute. Pregnant is absolute. You can’t be very pregnant, or a little pregnant, or more pregnant than someone else. You either are or you aren’t. It’s absolute.
But I’m not sure about best. It’s definitely a superlative (good, better, best) and it suggests that something is tops in its field, right? I could have many good friends; I could some better friends; but can I have two or more best friends? The phrase which started this little discussion was “two of my best friends,” which would imply that they are part of a bigger group of “best friends,” right?
My guess (an educated one at that) is that we’re dealing with colloquialisms here. I’m pretty sure that when people talk about “best friends” they’re talking people they can trust to be honest with them about anything and who will do anything for them.
So if there are two or more people in your life who fill those criteria, I guess you can have more than one best friend. I’m going to go with that! I’d like to think that there are several people in my life who fit the qualifications. It goes without saying that Marilyn tops the list, but you know what I mean, don’t you?
Hubert H. Humphrey once said, “The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it.” Me too, HHH!
For nearly 50 years, I had a best friend. No competition. He was clearly my best friend. I had lots of friends, but Bob was the best. When Bob died, I felt a huge loss. How do you deal with the loss of your best friend? There’s no way that he can be replaced, is there? For me, that “best” spot remains open, but I’m very happy to say that I have several close friends who fit the criteria I mentioned earlier. I have been truly blessed.
These are guys who will step up and do anything they can to help me, and they’ve proved it more than once. There’s the old saying “a friend in need is a friend indeed.” The Cambridge online dictionary says that the phrase means “a friend who helps you when you really need help is a true friend.”
This certainly applies here. I can’t even envision where I would be today if it weren’t for the many friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Face it, friends make life more bearable. St. Thomas Aquinas said, “There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.”
Baltasar Gracian, a famous 17th century Spanish Jesuit priest and philosopher, once wrote, “True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island. … To find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing.”
For sure, the “good in my life” has been multiplied many times by my good friends, and the bad times in my life have been “divided” by the love that has been shown to me. I have been blessed, and I am grateful that I can say I have a group of friends who have been “the best.”
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