Father’s Day was really special this year because our daughter treated us to a weekend in Madison. Isn’t it wonderful when your kids do things like that? We wouldn’t have missed this for the world, though getting there and back was an adventure.
Navigating traffic on highways 41 and 151 has gone from bad to worse. Jon actually follows speed limits, but many vehicles whizzed by at ridiculous speeds. They change lanes without signaling, cut in and out, tailgate, take foolish chances. Are they in a hurry to get to their own funerals? By the grace of God, we made it.
On Friday night, we sat by the Marriott pool watching our granddaughter wow us with her swimming skills. Saturday morning featured the Bubble Run, a 5k fun event where participants are enveloped in bubbles at checkpoints. I was happy to be a spectator. Running with my daughter, granddaughter alongside 2,000 other people on city streets, isn’t on my to-do list. Nevertheless, it was a blast and a spectacle to behold.
What was on Jon’s bucket list was seeing Allison Krause in concert. Thanks to Jina, we did that Saturday night. We had a fantastic dinner at Delmonico’s, then walked to the Orpheum Theatre for a memorable concert in a magnificent setting. With her band Union Station, Allison absolutely rocked the place. I was ecstatic when she did my favorite: “Ghost in This House.”
The song is sad but a perfect description of me without Jon. He’s definitely a keeper, not perfect but I couldn’t live with perfection. My faults would be magnified in the mirror of his faultlessness. Who wants that?
Our life has been so blessed. We’ve ridden the river together for four decades, and it’s been an adventure. Here’s hoping every woman reading this thinks her better half really is the better half. Jon is, and the icing on the cake is that he makes me a better person, which is as fine a quality as any spouse can bring to a marriage.
What defines a keeper? As I see it, there are significant qualities found in men who are. If you’re happy with a guy who doesn’t fit the criteria, no worries. It probably means one or both of you are exceptional.
Keepers are kind, resilient, informed and honest. They share your faith, your values, your dreams, your tears and fears. They let you be you but give you the support you need. When you succeed, they’re genuinely happy for you and let others know they’re proud to be your mate. When things don’t go your way, they never say you overreached or tell you how you should have done it.
Keepers are committed but not controlling. They are loyal providers, devoting time, talent and treasure to meet you and your family’s needs. They have buddies, hobbies and toys, of course, but when it’s all on the line, what they have at home comes first.
You know you can count on them to be there when they say they will, do what needs to be done, and keep their promises, including and especially your commitment to each other.
Keepers are chivalrous but not chauvinistic. They are man enough to be gentlemen — open doors, walk on the outside, stand behind you in line, drop you off at the door, surprise you now and then, and treat you like a lady, even if you’re not acting like one at the moment.
Keepers are a bit vain but never arrogant. They love themselves enough to take care of their personal appearance and possessions. They dress for the occasion, look and smell good when you’re going out. They are good sports, have a sense of humor, and aren’t afraid to try something new.
They have high expectations but know how to praise when it’s earned and gently offer constructive criticism when appropriate. Extra credit if they can cook, shop, fix stuff, tell funny stories, like to dance and listen without offering advice.
Keepers are forgiving but not manipulative. When you make a mistake, they forgive you. They don’t traffic in petty revenge, constantly bring up the past, or use your remorse against you. And when they’re wrong, they admit it, apologize and sincerely try to do better.
Keepers are romantic and loving, but they don’t smother. They express appreciation and affection, give you compliments and go out of their way to please you.
Lucky for you if you have a keeper. Try to make every day Father’s Day. Encourage and enable him to do what makes him happy. For my guy, it’s going fishing. Lucky for me, he’s good at it. I should know. When he cast his line my way, I took the bait, and he reeled me in. Turns out, I was the one who caught the keeper.
Kathleen Marsh is a lifelong educator, writer and community advocate. She has published eight books, four on the history of Townsend, where she and husband Jon are happily retired on the beautiful Townsend Flowage.
