Substance use disorder doesn’t typically happen in isolation.
The affected person’s experience can also impact their loved ones. For family or friends of someone with substance use disorder, it can feel difficult to know how to proceed.
“You might sway between wanting to support, feeling helpless and struggling to cope with the fallout of the loved one’s behavior and decisions,” said Caitlin Reider, substance use disorder counselor with ThedaCare.
She recognizes the challenges and complexities of such situations and offers help.
“Substance use can affect the entire family with everyone experiencing the traumatic impact,” Reider said. “Family members deserve education and support, too.”
Reider understands the challenge of broaching the topic of a loved one’s drug or alcohol use. She offers a few tips for such conversations.
“You might notice a loved one is using a substance in a way that concerns you. You can open the conversation by saying, ‘I have concerns about your substance use and this is what I’m noticing,’” she said, “or, ‘I’m worried about you. How can I support you?’ Provide them with caring feedback and support and avoid accusing the individual.”
ThedaCare provides a flexible, goal-orientated substance use disorder treatment approach based on individual patients’ needs.
Substance use disorder services also are available in Shawano.
Because some people may not be in the position to have that conversation or will not respond positively to a request to seek help, Reider said it’s essential for loved ones of those with substance use disorders to also take care of themselves.
“Boundaries are something we set for ourselves. We can’t force someone else to change their behaviors,” she said. “For example, we can set the boundary that ‘if you yell at me while you’ve been drinking, I am not going to talk to you.’”
“When setting boundaries, use I statements, such as, ‘I won’t ride in a car with you if you’ve been drinking,’” Reider said. “Once you set those expectations, make sure you adhere to them. Think about how to tend to yourself when something happens. Self-care is essential.”
Nurturing activities could include smelling a scented candle, petting or holding a pet, going for a walk, attending a yoga class, meditating, attending a religious service and spending time with close friends.
Recovering from substance use disorder can take time. Reider encouraged loved ones to have a realistic picture of what recovery might look like and to remember that the process is rarely linear.
“It’s important to try to have patience,” she said.
Many people can benefit from attending a support group because they may connect with others going through similar experiences.
A counselor facilitates the group and helps guide the conversation. Sessions focus on a range of topics, from setting boundaries and self-care, to going through the healing process. People can attend as often as they want. Participants as young as 14 can attend the support group if accompanied by an adult.
“For many, substance use disorder is a heartbreaking disease,” Reider said. “It can alter a person’s morals and ethics, and the people they love the most are often the ones who are the most affected.”
