I used to good-naturedly call my late friend Jim a “curmudgeon”; he liked to pretend he was a gruff, crabby guy. In reality, Jim was a softy with a wonderful sense of humor and a gift for joke-telling. He’d do anything to help anyone who needed help, especially his students.
The word “curmudgeon” struck me a week or so ago when a friend, responding to my reference to Andy Rooney in this column, forwarded a list of “Things I’ve Learned” purportedly written by Rooney, the curmudgeonly commentator with the big bushy eyebrows who for many years closed every Sunday broadcast of television’s “60 Minutes” news magazine with a personal essay about some aspect of everyday life.
Unfortunately, the quotes in that piece, which has been circulating on the Internet for over 15 years, were not written by Rooney (at least according to Snopes.com). But because Rooney often commented on the human condition, many of the ideas in the piece sounded like something he could have said, even if they weren’t very curmudgeonly!
One of the items on the list struck me. “I’ve learned … that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.” Bad grammar aside (It should say “everyone needs a friend with whom to act goofy”!), I thought this was a wonderful idea. And for many years, I had such a friend, actually a couple of them.
Bob and Frank were great friends to me and to each other. Both had boundless goofy streaks, and they shared their goofiness with a little circle of friends. Both had wonderful senses of humor and enjoyed life immensely, and they made the lives of their friends so much more enjoyable by their antics.
Bob and Frank were both consummate professionals in their work and were very successful, respected members of the community. And I think their sense of fun was a major part of why they were so well-liked professionally. They were smart and kind and funny. They were irreverent and considerate and generous. And they loved being goofy!
We did a lot of laughing when we were together, and I’m sure my life is better for having known both of them.
Another of the things that Andy “learned” was this: “I’ve learned … that just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.” One of the things that happens when you have the opportunity to expound on a variety of subjects in a public forum as I do, is that people respond. Over the years, I’ve had the wonderful experience of having quite a few people tell me that I’ve “made their day.” And what a great feeling it is to hear it. It makes my day!
My response is usually “and you’ve made mine!” Because it’s true. Being appreciated is a gift that I am thankful for.
One last Rooney observation, again not very curmudgeonly: “I’ve learned … that I can’t choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.” This statement fits so many people I know who are undergoing some difficult times and whose attitude is so wonderfully brave and inspiring. I try to emulate their approach to life. I can’t choose how I’m going to feel every day, but I surely can grin and bear it!
