‘Ye Ye’ recalls when granddaughter received her name

Our granddaughter Zoe just had her 17th birthday, and it reminded me of the time 17 years ago when we traveled to California for a 10-day visit to meet her for the first time. So I went back into my files and found some notes about that visit.

Remember the Paul Simon hit of the late 1980s “You Can Call Me Al”? Well, you can me “Ye Ye.” That’s a Mandarin Chinese family name for the paternal grandfather, and you can call Marilyn “Nai Nai.”

Our daughter-in-law, Nerissa Li-Ting Wong (now Wong-VanHaren), is Chinese, but she was raised in Hawaii, and she and our son, Mark, had decided to try to preserve as much cultural heritage as they could for little Zoe.

While we were there, Mark and Nerissa held a “red egg and ginger party,” a sort of “naming ceremony” at which they introduced their daughter to their friends and whatever family could make it. It is traditional in Chinese families to present their newborns to the community on their one-month birthday, and to present their guests with a red-dyed egg decorated with the child’s name and to serve candied ginger.

A crowd of about 40 people jammed Mark and Nerissa’s little house in Menlo Park to join in the festivities and to partake of some authentic Chinese food prepared by Nerissa’s mom, Rita, who was there from Honolulu.

In the “ceremony,” Mark brought Zoe into the room dressed in a cute little pink satin gown with an antique lotus flower collar from China, red silk shoes, and a jade necklace. Of course, she was adorable. (Can a grown man get away with using “adorable”?) He sang her a song he’d composed for her, and then he and Nerissa began the speech-making, addressing all their remarks to Zoe.

In their remarks, they expressed their hopes for Zoe and their promises to her. Then “Po Po” Rita did the same, followed by me, then Marilyn, and then our oldest son TJ (“Da Bo” — “big elder paternal uncle”), who represented all the VanHaren siblings. Zoe’s paternal grandpa, Bill Wong (“Gung Gung”) could not be there, but he sent a poem he’d written in Chinese — and the English translation.

It was a very beautiful and moving ceremony, full of tradition and sentiment. People who know me well know that I am really sappy at family events, so, of course, I cried and got all choked up as I was giving my little speech. But the crowd was very understanding, so I think it was all right.

About Zoe’s name: Zoe’s full name is Zoe Hui-Lian Maiele Wong-VanHaren. That’s a pretty long handle for a 5-pound baby girl, but every part of the name has some significance, and therein lies a story. “Zoe” is Greek for “life.” “Hui-Lian” is Chinese for “Lotus Flower” (In honor of that, the day’s menu included lotus root salad and lotus seed-filled sweet buns!). “Maiele” is Hawaiian for “eloquent speaker.” Wong-VanHaren, a combination of the two family surnames, is from the Chinese for “Yellow” and our family name which is a Dutch geographical name.

Our family is very cosmopolitan: a Chinese daughter-in-law and two “hoppa” (Hawaiian for a biracial child) grandchildren, Zoe and her brother Trevor Hui-Feng. That’s Mark’s family. Chris’ family includes grandson Tyler and his three Korean siblings — Melanie Ja-Hyun, Carter Min-Kee, and Stephanie Ka-Eul. Mike’s family includes Ella and Nolan. T.J.’s family includes Kim, his Japanese-Chinese wife, and their kids Cameron and Sloane.

When they all get together for family functions, which doesn’t happen anywhere near as often as I’d like it to be, it’s wonderful to see how they become a “family.” We are blessed.