In “The Shining,” one of my all-time favorite horror movies, it becomes crystal clear that Jack Nicholson’s character has gone stir crazy when his wife checks to see how his novel is going and finds dozens of pages all typed with “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”
Wendy Torrance, played by Shelley Duvall, then goes on high alert to save herself and her son from her ax-wielding husband at the snowed-in Overlook Hotel.
Anyone living in Wisconsin during February can get that cabin fever feeling, surrounded by snow and cold, gloomy skies and a general lack of activity. I reached that point the last Sunday in January, although none of my family members were in any danger and I have a good start on my novel.
“I have to get out of the house,” I told my wife.
With the temperature hovering close to 20 degrees, I donned long johns, heavy socks and layers of clothing under my ice fishing bibs and heavy deer hunting parka. Ellie, our mixed-breed cattle dog, joined me in our Subaru Outback for the short ride to the Fox Valley Muzzle Loaders Club for a snowy trek that I did not want to end like Jack Torrance’s chase through the Overlook’s maze. (If you haven’t seen the movie, you really must watch it.)
Within a few minutes of the woods walk, I realized it felt even colder than I’d expected (maybe I need to walk faster to warm up?) and my hope that Ellie would actually stay with me was delusion. Had “Mad Jack” Torrance been with me, his call might have been “Wheeeeeere’s Ellie?” instead of “Heeeeere’s Johnny!”
Fortunately, I left a long leash on Ellie as she bounced merrily through the woods. I caught her a few minutes later, happily gnawing on some frozen deer entrails that had been left by another hunter a few months ago.
My wool socks began slipping down inside my Baffin pack boots, although my fingers were remaining mostly warm, thanks to hand warmers tucked inside my gloves. The idea of a winter woods walk was a good one, but if I didn’t quit now, I might regret it. My circulation just isn’t what it used to be and I really should have worn two pairs of socks. The wool face mask was doing its job, though. Consider this a 35-minute practice run for longer treks. Just like in hunting, each trip is a learning experience of what gear works and what doesn’t.
I loaded Ellie into the front seat of the car (all dogs should ride there) and headed home.
“That was a big mistake,” I told my wife, who gave me that patented “I married an idiot” look she is so fond of using. She was tucked under a blanket in her leather recliner chair, playing a video game on her phone. “You are welcome to come with me next time.”
Since semi-retiring in July, I’ve worried about gaining weight, but exercise is key to getting in shape, even in the dead of winter. I’ve tried gyms and they are just too congested and boring for me. I’ve tried treadmills and exercise bikes at home, and they are boring, too. The outdoors is my first choice for exercise, but the cold is definitely a deterrent.
What can we do the next few months? Here are a few suggestions to get you moving:
• Sturgeon spearing. The second Saturday in February is opening day for thousands of the frozen chosen, those brave souls who use chainsaws to cut door-sized holes in the ice at Lake Winnebago and the upriver lakes (Poygan, Winneconne and Butte des Morts) for a chance at spearing a prehistoric fish called the lake sturgeon.
Although I have officially retired from the sport (I’ve never seen a sturgeon in my spearing hole, although I have witnessed several spearers jab some), I will be on the ice this Saturday with friends who love it. The world’s largest population of lake sturgeon is closely monitored by the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources, and these special sportsmen will risk frostbite and drowning (a few trucks break through the ice each season) for a chance at a fish that can top 200 pounds.
If you live in Shawano or Oconto counties and successfully spear a sturgeon, I’d love to hear from you. Email me at Ross@wolfriverccw.com.
• Maple syrup making. February is the month for tapping maple, birch and other trees for the sap needed to boil down and bottle delicious syrup. Fleet Farm and a few other stores sell the taps and gear you need to try this organic homesteader activity.
• Predator hunting. Coyotes are extra hungry this time of year, and that’s an advantage for predator hunters. All you need is an accurate rifle and a game call. There are $600 programmable electronic calls, but a $10 mouth call or even a dog’s squeaky toy will do. You will hide in camo and call the quarry to you with a few squeaks. When hunter becomes the prey, it’s a total rush. A turkey feather tied to a string and staked to a garden stake makes a great lure.
• Ice fishing. Find a friend with a power auger to take the work out of this sport. Waxworms and tiny jigs will get you started. Local bait shops are happy to set you up. Other than the auger and tent, the gear is relatively cheap.
Now get out there and stay away from the Overlook Hotel.
Ross Bielema is a freelance writer from New London and owner of Wolf River Concealed Carry LLC. Contact him at Ross@wolfriverccw.com.
Ways to fight cabin fever, retain winter sanity
