Once again, Christmas ads morphed into Valentine’s Day commercials with lightning speed. Like those aggravating Medicare ads, these sales pitches have become part of the annual marketing rotation.
As I may have mentioned before, Christmas sale pitches are meant to persuade us to buy unneeded stuff for loved ones as a demonstration of affection. No surprise then, that Valentine commercials are designed to persuade us to buy unneeded stuff for loved ones as a show of affection. Don’t feel bad if you fall for it; I do, too. Gifts are a great way to show affection.
I thought it might be fun to trace the origin of Valentine’s Day, a celebration that blends ancient pagan customs and Christian traditions. Fun fact: Valentine’s Day has evolved over thousands of years into what is also known as Hearts and Flowers Day.
According to Microsoft Co-Pilot, an online bestie I can’t seem to unfriend, Valentine’s Day originated in the ancient Roman Festival of Lupercalia, which was celebrated in mid-February. Am I the only one who thinks it fitting that the word romance comes from the Romans? They do have a reputation for being fond of using any excuse to party. Why not establish a festival dedicated to eating and drinking and lovemaking during their depressingly damp and chilly February?
Though the names of the originators of Lupercalia are lost to history, we do know it became very popular for alleviating the wearisome monotony of late winter. It also helped that the foresightful Founders of the Feast endowed it with a deep and abiding significance: the official marking of the arrival of Spring.
Spring is a season with a long-established connection to fertility, and Lupercalia became the ideal time for parents to pair off their marriage-age children. The practice routinely resulted in launching successful arranged marriages that produced grandchildren. Good call, Rome. I’m guessing these kiddos were just as treasured as my precious and perfect grandies that I love to Venus and back.
Alas, nothing lasts forever. When the Roman Empire collapsed, Lupercalia fell from favor and faded into obscurity. Alive and well are legends that emerged from its demise. The most popular one originated in the Roman Catholic Church during the third century. You guessed it; the hero was Valentine.
As the story goes, Roman Emperor Claudius II forbade young men to marry, believing single males make better warriors. In defiance of the despot’s command, a priest named Valentine secretly performed marriage ceremonies for young couples. As the saying goes, three can keep a secret if two of them are dead.
When Valentine’s deception came to light, he was arrested and executed. The church declared him a martyr, elevating him to sainthood, a ritual that requires a miracle. No problem. Valentine had healed his jailer’s blind daughter when she opened a message smuggled out of the prison by her father. Her sight was restored as she read the condemned man’s signature, two words we still use nearly 2,000 years later: “Your Valentine.”
By the 1700s, Valentine’s Day began to be associated with courtly love traditions in Europe, transforming it into a day for couples to express love with gifts, flowers, and the cards we call “valentines.” Hearts, doves and cupids were added to further emphasize opportunities for lovers to express their romantic feelings.
This lovely tradition reminds me of a famous line that relates perfectly to the topic. In the movie “Finding Forrester,” Sean Connery plays William, an aging reclusive writer who reluctantly finds himself in a mentoring relationship with a teenage boy, Jamal. Despite the huge gap in their age and experience, the cranky old man and inquisitive teen warm up to each other and form a bond reminiscent of grandfather and grandson.
In one memorable scene, Jamal bemoans the fact he doesn’t understand females and asks for advice on how to impress a girl he likes. William, who has lots of experience in that area, tells Jamal in one sentence how to successfully navigate the bewildering world of women.
“The key to a woman’s heart is an unexpected gift at an unexpected time.”
As a lifelong member of the sisterhood, I wholeheartedly agree. That would definitely get a girl’s attention.
Wait. Why would this not apply to males as well? Wouldn’t anyone who gets an unexpected gift, unless the gesture seems more like a bribe, going to hold the giver in high regard? So if you are reading this after missing the boat on Hearts and Flowers Day, you know what to do. It might just mean more because it’s an unexpected gift at an unexpected time. Oh, and Happy Valentine’s Day.Kathleen Marsh is a lifelong educator, writer and community advocate. She has published eight books, four on the history of Townsend, where she and husband Jon are happily retired on the beautiful Townsend Flowage.
